i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
