Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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