i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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