Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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