I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
