im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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