can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
