I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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