I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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