If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
