I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need moral support for this bender
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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