He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
