We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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