JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
