and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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