So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
