My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
