Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You have to summon your inner elephant
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
