Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
