This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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