It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
