if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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