i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
