Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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