Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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