I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
