An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
