you win again, gameday.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I take back everything I said about communal showers
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
