Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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