guys are only as good as the porn they watch
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
