She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
