I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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