i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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