just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize