he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
