If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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