don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize