So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize