wakey wakey hands off snakey
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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