i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
3 2 1 whiskey
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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