Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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