I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
