yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
