Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
