glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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