i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
