sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
