she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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