yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
