Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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