evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
