Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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