two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
