there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
