She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
