You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
