That's intense
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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