He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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