He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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