I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
