Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
whose parrot is this?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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