Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
