Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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